Tuesday, May 15, 2007

And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged
and anonymous.
No one notices you.
You achieve a wonderful freedom. Doris Lessing

Mother's Day brought this message home loud and clear: my nest is truly empty now. Admittedly I am a little east of middle aged. Even though I'm called ma'am everywhere I go (it must be the gray hairs sproinging out around my head like Elsa Lanchester's hairdo in Bride of Frankenstein), I feel the urging of a new freedom, if only I'd take a hold. Still, I've been reluctant to step out of my accustomed roles and enjoy my own identify precisely because it has been safer, more comfortable, cheaper, predictable to be Audrey & Erica's mom, Dave's wife, Madeline's sister but not be merely Mary Ann.

Sark's site offers some advice:

~~Surround yourself with inspiring souls.

~~Say NO when necessary. Say YES exuberantly and often.

~~Be your own best friend. What do you need today?

~~Release self judgment now.

~~Find some art supplies!

A little simplifica-tion would be the first step toward rational living, I think.

Eleanor Roosevelt

And so the journey continues!


holly said...

you've always been Mary Ann to me! yes, I now know you also as Audrey's mother, but first and foremost, you are Mary Ann, a wonderful and awesome caring person. You made me smile all the time and showed me the ravens nest and talked about knitting and I miss you!

Marianne said...

Aah, the Doris Lessing line, I remember when I became 'invisible' and have to admit it felt odd for awhile but it didn't take long to fully embrace it.
I also remember being at a friend's house (old friend of husbands) and his mother being there and not really having been introduced, she approached me with "So, you're Bobby's wife" I smiled and extended my hand and said "Hi, I'm Marianne", which I thought perfectly normal....everyone else thought it funny...go figure.
I don't really *know* you but you *are* Mary Ann to me.
Beautiful photos.

Granny Smith said...

Food for thought. And now I know you by a name other than Nonizamboni!

Christine Neale said...

Oh yes, I have received this advice before and must have forgotten it....'Be your own best friend'. Thank you friend for the timely reminder. I'm off to be the mom and mother -in-law for twon weeks. It is a different kind of identity - makes me feel older, drabber. I think I'll look for moments of exuberance! Love you.

Leslie Shelor said...

Wonderful advice! I had forgotten the Doris Lessing quote, too, but will remember it now!