And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged
and anonymous.
No one notices you.
You achieve a wonderful freedom. Doris Lessing
Mother's Day brought this message home loud and clear: my nest is truly empty now. Admittedly I am a little east of middle aged. Even though I'm called ma'am everywhere I go (it must be the gray hairs sproinging out around my head like Elsa Lanchester's hairdo in Bride of Frankenstein), I feel the urging of a new freedom, if only I'd take a hold. Still, I've been reluctant to step out of my accustomed roles and enjoy my own identify precisely because it has been safer, more comfortable, cheaper, predictable to be Audrey & Erica's mom, Dave's wife, Madeline's sister but not be merely Mary Ann.
Sark's site offers some advice:
~~Surround yourself with inspiring souls.
~~Say NO when necessary. Say YES exuberantly and often.
~~Be your own best friend. What do you need today?
~~Release self judgment now.
~~Find some art supplies!
A little simplifica-tion would be the first step toward rational living, I think.
Eleanor Roosevelt
And so the journey continues!
5 comments:
you've always been Mary Ann to me! yes, I now know you also as Audrey's mother, but first and foremost, you are Mary Ann, a wonderful and awesome caring person. You made me smile all the time and showed me the ravens nest and talked about knitting and I miss you!
Aah, the Doris Lessing line, I remember when I became 'invisible' and have to admit it felt odd for awhile but it didn't take long to fully embrace it.
I also remember being at a friend's house (old friend of husbands) and his mother being there and not really having been introduced, she approached me with "So, you're Bobby's wife" I smiled and extended my hand and said "Hi, I'm Marianne", which I thought perfectly normal....everyone else thought it funny...go figure.
I don't really *know* you but you *are* Mary Ann to me.
Beautiful photos.
Food for thought. And now I know you by a name other than Nonizamboni!
Oh yes, I have received this advice before and must have forgotten it....'Be your own best friend'. Thank you friend for the timely reminder. I'm off to be the mom and mother -in-law for twon weeks. It is a different kind of identity - makes me feel older, drabber. I think I'll look for moments of exuberance! Love you.
Wonderful advice! I had forgotten the Doris Lessing quote, too, but will remember it now!
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