Part-time pain with a side of nuts, please.

Yesterday was a day of misgivings, disharmony and way too much dog poop. Pashka's senility continues at breakneck speed . . .so I found myself picking up after her in the house three times in one day--a record. Then Dave unwittingly e-mailed me a photo taken at his Christmas party this year. It was a group picture taken of his co-workers and spouses and me looking like I'd been given a pass from the 'home' for the evening.
I'm not photogenic, o.k.! And now it is apparent I've seen better days too.
I thought eating two York Peppermint Patties would help which only backfired because then I was able to use my rolls and chins as ammo against my already smarting self-respect. I tried filling my house with beautiful music, thus yesterday's poem and Cecilia Bartoli's voice-over. It worked--for awhile. Maybe my anti-depressant pills had expired or the moon was approaching full or it was just 'part-time pain.'

Leaving out the boring details of the rest of the day, suffice it to say that by bedtime I was feeling very much like the dog logs I'd picked up all day, only stepped on and needing a big stick to clean out the grooves in the soles of my shoes. Soles=soul and mine was grateful to just turn off the flippin' light on the nightstand and call it a day.

Eight hours later, I woke up to not one but two marks on my nose from my sleep apnea face mask. This is never a good sign. But my fingers flew to the keyboard to record what happened next so I wouldn't forget (see earlier paragraph about the 'home.')

Its difficult to rate these, so I'll just say that

a. My e-mail inbox showed I'd received a message from a dearly-loved and long-lost niece, Colette. She'd been given my blog address by my Erica and I was over-joyed to know she still cared for me and was happy to write to me.

b. When I checked out a few friends' blogs, I found that Julie had given me an award called 'You Make My Day.' So while I was writing my own obituary and stuffing my face to ease the pain, Julie had me in mind.

c. I stopped by Caribou Coffee and not only was there an empty chair by the fireplace (which usually doesn't happen) but the cute barrista gave me my coffee free. When I opened my mouth to say he'd not charged me enough, I got as far as 'Umm, I think you...' when he gave me a thumbs-up and said, 'I hope you'll make this a good day.' okey-dokey

d. Lastly, the washing machine in the laundry room gave me a free wash. I don't know. .

Notes to self:

While sipping my (free) coffee I overheard the mother of little Jackson tell her friend across the table the cutest thing Jackson had said yesterday. At first I rolled my eyes and then I heard her say: 'I was saying that I thought I was nuts. Jackson came up to me and said, 'Mom, you're not nuts, you just eat nuts, that's all.'

Whew! we're both safe.

Winter!

bleh

I rest my case!

"Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it."**

His soul has in its Autumn, when his wings
He furleth close; contented so to look
On mists in idleness--to let fair things
Pass by unheeded as a threshold brook.

John Keats from The Human Seasons



Lurking round is that old familiar super-sized combo of ennui due to the World Series ending--too quickly--and sinusitis from staying too long outside since the days have been perfectly blue, gold and cloudless the past week, with days in the 60's.

Allergies make me a little dopey and disinterested in anything that usually makes me happy...bleh And I miss Audrey and Erica even though the days are long gone when they would partake of any Halloween pumpkin carving or costumes. I can still see Erica in my mind's eye the last year she went trick-or-treat-ing dressed as a rabbit coming out of a huge hat. Sweet, sad and priceless! So today I sat and counted the millions of leaves that have fallen from our trees when I wasn't reading On Beauty by Zadie Smith, recommended by Erica for Smith's writing talent but more importantly because of 'our family's star appearance!' on every page.

I know if those guys were home for Halloween we'd all be sitting down to enjoy this recipe that we made nearly every year:

Dinner in a Pumpkin

1 medium pumpkin
1 lb ground beef sauteed with onions & celery
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 T brown sugar
4 oz mushrooms (fresh or canned, sliced and drained)
1 can cream of chicken soup
2 cups hot cooked rice

Preheat oven to 375°F. Lightly grease a 10" circle in center of a foil-lined baking sheet; set aside. Place pumpkin on a firm surface. Using a sharp knife, cut out stem end and about 3 inches around stem. Cut on a diagonal by slanting knife from outer edge of pumpkin in toward center (important so the lid doesn't fall in!) Reserve top. Remove seeds and pulp; discard. In a medium bowl, combine the rest of the ingredients. Spoon mixture into pumpkin. Replace top. Place pumpkin on greased baking sheet. Bake about 1 hour or longer in preheated oven until pumpkin is tender. Serve cooked pumpkin along with meat filling. Makes 6-8 servings.

[scarecrow in vacated garden spot along the road]

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Garrison Keillor

**title also Keillor quote